Session #33

April and May of 2018 are proving to be special for me as memories are built up in this heart and mind, in this soul. Some of the memories and experiences would never have happened had I stayed an ignorant religious dolt like I was till 2008, when my eyes were finally opened wide to the real life I wanted to lead, not that existence someone else desired according to their own philosophies. In that monumental year of 2008, as has been written of here countless times, I left the religious world I had been a part of since age seven, seeking a new life without judgmental attitudes, negativity and a real lack of love for others unless conforming to their ways. When I did this, I also came out of the closet after hiding my sexuality for all those years, telling the world I was bisexual, which truly is more pansexual (I love all genders and fall in love with the human, not the sexy bits, those are simply a bonus! 🙂 ) A few years later, the decision to also come out as polyamorus was huge, yet another part of me that was always there but hidden away due to the rules and regulations of the JW’s.

Times were to change for me in amazing ways! New friends and lovers would begin to become part of my fabric, the weave of my experience as my forties started. What would this bring me? An amazing amount of love, kindness and passion!
The weight off my shoulders of this burden was incredible! Now, I could live the way I wanted to…ME! It is not as easy as some suggest that I could have done this years before.
Regardless of that, my new “personality” of love, kindness and peace was overtaking that former one of arrogance, attitude and elitism. I could now LOVE ❤ anyone I wanted, whether platonic or not, as many as I wanted and feel good about it, without guilt.  Being openly Bi was and is never a problem in this world I live, the location I live in America. It is very liberal and accepting.

Being poly, that is slightly different but still accepted more here than in other places, just as with any life choice. If readers here don’t know what polyamory is, Google is a great source. But in a nutshell, it is simply living a life where a human opens the heart and life to many people and relationships, not being required to be only with one person. My heart and soul are open, with lots of room for loving many people, whether emotionally, platonically or sexually. It has been practiced since time began and always been there but admittedly, religion and culture have influenced this in most places and it is not as “popular” to be poly as it is monogamous. Still, there are many of us who have love for many and being poly is who I am. A HUGE part of me and my philosophy.  Having partners who also hold the same philosophies, orientations and life choice make things so much better and loving. I’m seriously blessed in having two partners who are just that and without their love, passion, compassion and communication, it would be difficult to spread my wings and be the real Seumas that people now know me as. They put up with my personality and all of my warts, imperfections and idiosyncrasies, doing so with love. When new people enter our lives, we don’t fret or feel guilt as that is such a trap and part of the past. I can be honest about my feelings, and not fear of showing my natural feelings for others. That freedom is how we should all be instead of being shut down and limited to one person.  New people, friends and lovers fill the circles around our hearts and become members of our tribe. This…is how life can be such a blessing. I thank all of those who are part of my life and have been part. I’m seriously blessed to be on this plant surrounded by such amazing, incredible and love filled humans! ❤

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