The last six weeks of my life have been filled with more ups and downs than a roller coaster on it’s high setting.. Some weeks have included lows that I hope to never revisit again in my lifetime and others with such highs that I welcome them again and again. Before my vacation to San Francisco I caught a bug that needed antibiotics and then, after San Francisco, I brought home yet another in the form of strep that again forced me to take medications.
Ugh. I really dislike taking medication but this year has been one of illnesses that one simply cannot know are going to invade. Germs, bacteria, viruses and other “cooties” that are all over the place just make their way into our systems. Such has been my year. Today marks the last of the current dose of antibiotics to fight this bug. May it be the last for a long and extended time period!
During my time in San Francisco and also while sick, I reflected in my health and how fortunate I really am to be in as good a shape as I am. While my running has suffered over the last few months, really the last year, it is nothing I’m too concerned about. My life has changed and taken a different and less social direction. My mind and heart are focusing less on the interaction with every soul I know and with filling the days and nights with activity, but in adding more time within my own self, of making those moments alone really count . Why waste all of my time watching movies or TV, of activities that do little to advance my education and inner healing? So when I was on my vacation, I thought and meditated deeply on where I wanted to go with my next year of activity. Well….
I find I really need to help others if possible. Or a job that enables me to do so, though not in the corporate world at all. I don’t want to be another number and in some dead end job. I want to make a difference. In addition to my photography business, this is something I will be researching. In addition to this, my goal with the shakuhachi is to learn the honkyoku piece “Tamuke” over the course of 2016 and to be able to play it decently.
So this session is not really one of a gripe or of a subject that was necessary for my health. Though, these do help. I feel a change in my life that is one of positive and healthy motivations. In concentrating on my inner being and loving myself more instead of always being self criticizing and inwardly negative. Yes, these are things I still do and need to remedy. I’m my own worst critic and am told by those who love me that I simply need to stop it! And …they are correct.