As my life moves along nicely and enters deeper middle age, I reflect daily at how the good things have overtaken the bad. Most of the time when coming to the therapist here I’m reflecting about bad or negative things from the past. Last session I complained about not having many male friends and while how I have many, many female pals and friends, the shortage of men was something I wish could be remedied. As I have continued to moan and groan this aspect, a few of my wonderful lady friends and partners have consistently encouraged me to be patient, that they WILL arrive and that when they do, I will be blessed with more than I thought possible. To “go with the flow” (thank you Dena my dear) and not rush things, slow down and be positive. Well, she was right in more ways than one. I’ve begun to see a change in that regard and after a few months some of the re-connections I’d made are now becoming fruitful, paying off in the form of friendships I hope last years and years. One in particular has really become a delight and I see grand things in the future for us as close and great friends! It simply takes time for some and in my case, this is the truth as well. No, I don’t regret anything mentioned or said in my past sessions and never will. It is still what was occurring at the time. But, life is fluid and things change, some for the better and some , not so good. Most for me have been positive and endearing changes!!
Still, the negatives DO rise up daily and I’m getting better at smacking them down and moving on. My studies in Buddhist philosophy and awareness, kindness and peace have made me a MUCH better person than the man who used to be in this body. No, I wasn’t an evil nor a bad man but I was too deeply involved with the religion, not being ME, myself, nor doing what was good for my future. If I had stayed in that system of spiraling negativity, who knows where I would have been. In fact, I try not to think about that as it is also negative. So….here I am. This is my eleventh session and things are working well. Clicking, cylinders firing, ducks in a somewhat straight row,etc. Pick a cliche. They all apply. All I know is that for this moment right now, as I type this, I’m the happiest I have ever been. Life is good, grand and all that it can be for this moment in time. Yeah, rather Zen, I know. And that’s perfectly alright. Happiness is what we want to achieve in this life and we all differ as to what that means. Mine is a simple life, with less stress (or NO stress), no bills, surrounded by love and awesome people. When one has love, people, health, no stress, peace and the simple things we need to live….what else could we really ask for?