Session #35

Sex=Guilt Yes, these two went hand in hand for many years as I lived my life. Never being able to explore this mysterious and amazing world until my twenty eighth year, due to the usual Jehovah’s Witness rules and regulations. Once I left that all behind in 2008, things changed in such an incredible way. … More Session #35

Session #34

  There are many positive aspects that come from my daily life, leading me to sleep decently at night, most of the time. Most of them come from the distance between me and the departure from that negativity of so many years of indoctrination. And for the most part, these slowly disappear as time moves … More Session #34

Session #33

April and May of 2018 are proving to be special for me as memories are built up in this heart and mind, in this soul. Some of the memories and experiences would never have happened had I stayed an ignorant religious dolt like I was till 2008, when my eyes were finally opened wide to … More Session #33

Session #32

It is interesting how my memories and recall regarding those decades as a Jehovah’s Witness have faded so quickly in some areas, not so much in others. Many of the day to day routines, the meetings and conventions…they fade. Then all of a sudden, something will trigger a memory, usually negative. It does not take … More Session #32

Session #31

The last few months have again confirmed that there is still a lot of work to be done with my own hellish internal struggles. It is not something that is devastating me or ruling the daily activity as I live. Currently , my life is pretty damn good and I’m loved, happy and doing well. … More Session #31

Session #30

  Summer is over and as autumn begins this most delicious time of year, the images of freedom bounce through my melon. This summer I walked past various places, people and memories that evoked the past. That same past that restrained me from being the true Seumas ( or James back then), always lying to … More Session #30

Session #29

As this fiftieth summer of my life rolls on towards it’s end, so many past events as a JW crop up. Earlier this month as I walked past the Memorial Coliseum in Portland on my way to a photo shoot, I witnessed an event I used to take part in yearly during the summer months, … More Session #29

Session #28

When I look at the date of the last post here, I just about die. Seriously? Does this mean nothing worthy of a post has happened or…? Not at all. Just now getting thoughts together for a post! And lately it has been regarding my own spirituality as well as what role my body plays … More Session #28

Session #27

  As the anniversary of my father’s death approaches next month and my mother deals with her own health issues, I find it even more necessary to live in the moment and not predict or live in the future, nor even the past. Not that it brings heartache nor depression, not even sad melancholy. Just … More Session #27

Session #26-Well?

Since the last session, I have entered uncharted waters. The first half century of my life was a mixture of joy, tension, desire, loneliness, fear and happiness. Sounds like a normal human life, right? Agreed. For the most part, it was a rather uneventful existence as far as lives go. Rather boring to most, certainly … More Session #26-Well?